Funny Valentines Day Quotes For Singles

• “Who needs a significant other when you have significant savings?”
• “My Valentine’s date? Netflix. It never disappoints.”
• “Valentine’s Day: the one day a year when eating chocolate alone is socially acceptable.”
• “Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m single, and my bank account’s thanking me too.”
• “Why stress about finding ‘the one’ when you can have fun being ‘the one’?”
• “I’m not single, I’m romantically challenged.”
• “Who needs a date when you have pizza?”
• “Valentine’s Day: because nothing says ‘I love you’ like a heart-shaped box of discount chocolates on February 15th.”
• ” I’m single at 35 is it funny for valentine.”
• “Roses are red, violets are blue, I’ll be at the bar, where are you?”
• “If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?”
• “I’m not anti-love, I’m just pro-being awesome on my own.”
• “Love may be in the air, but so is the smell of my independence.”
• “I don’t need a Valentine, I need a refund.”
• “Valentine’s Day: the one day you can eat your weight in chocolate and no one judges.”
• “Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m single, and honestly, it’s pretty great too.”
• “Who needs a partner when you have WiFi?”
• “Valentine’s Day: the perfect excuse for a wine and cheese night with your dog.”
• “I’m not single, I’m in a long-term relationship with freedom.”
• “Valentine’s Day is like a box of chocolates: mostly filled with empty promises.”
• “My Valentine’s plans? Ordering takeout and avoiding crowded restaurants.”
• “Why chase love when you can chase your dreams?”
• “Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m single, and honestly, I’m killing it too.”
• “Valentine’s Day: the one day of the year when even my microwave dinner judges me.”
• “Who needs Cupid when you have Amazon Prime?”
• “I don’t need a knight in shining armor, I need a pizza delivery guy in a Honda.”
• “Valentine’s Day: the one day you can blame your cat for being single.”
• “My Valentine’s Day plans? Avoiding couples like they’re the plague.”
• “Who needs romance when you have memes?”
• “Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m single, and my wallet’s happy too.”
• “Valentine’s Day: the one day I don’t have to shave my legs.”
• “Love is in the air? Must be allergy season.”
• “I don’t need a date, I need a snack.”
• “Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m single, but my cat loves me true.”
• “Valentine’s Day: the one day a year I remind myself how much I love being single.”
• “Who needs a partner when you have a playlist?”
• “Love is like a fart: if you have to force it, it’s probably crap.”
• “Valentine’s Day: the one day a year when Tinder notifications feel like a love letter.”
• “I’m not single, I’m just saving my love for someone who deserves it.”
• “Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m single, and I have better things to do.”
• “Valentine’s Day: the one day a year when I realize I’ve been pronouncing ‘rosé’ wrong.”
• “Who needs romance when you have ramen?”
• “I don’t need a Valentine, I need a day off.”
• “Valentine’s Day: the one day a year when my Instagram feed becomes a slideshow of other people’s happiness.”
• “I’m not single, I’m just romantically selective.”
• “Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m single, and my bed’s all mine too.”
• “Valentine’s Day: the one day a year when self-love becomes a trending topic.”
• “Who needs a date when you have dessert?”
• “Love is grand, but divorce is a hundred grand.”
• “Valentine’s Day: the one day a year when heart-shaped pizza is an acceptable dinner.”
• “I’m not single, I’m independently owned and operated.”
• “Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m single, and I couldn’t be happier, could you?”
• “Who needs a relationship when you have room for activities?”
• “Valentine’s Day: the one day a year when candy hearts taste like disappointment.”
• “I’m not single, I’m just in a committed relationship with myself.”
• “Love is like a fart: if you have to force it, it’s probably crap.”
• “Valentine’s Day: the one day a year when chocolate is cheaper than therapy.”
• “I don’t need a partner, I need a personal chef.”
• “Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m single, and I’m perfectly fine, thank you.”
• “Who needs a significant other when you have significant freedom?”
• “Valentine’s Day: the one day a year when being single is a badge of honor.”
• “I’m not single, I’m just romantically challenged.”
• “Love is in the air? I must be allergic.”
• “Valentine’s Day: the one day a year when my cat judges me for being single.”
• “Who needs a partner when you have a party?”
• “Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m single, and my Netflix queue’s overdue.”
• “Valentine’s Day: the one day a year when even my plants have a Valentine.”
• “I’m not single, I’m just in a long-term relationship with my freedom.”
• “Love is like a plant: if you neglect it, it dies.”
• “Valentine’s Day: the one day a year when I treat myself like royalty.”
• “Who needs a date when you have chocolate?”
• “Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m single, and my cat’s my boo.”
• “Valentine’s Day: the one day a year when being single feels like winning the lottery.”
• “Love is like a fart: if you have to force it, it’s probably crap.”
• “Valentine’s Day: the one day a year when romance is in the air and I’m wearing a gas mask.”
• “Who needs a partner when you have a pet?”
• “Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m single, and I’m better off, are you?”
• “Valentine’s Day: the one day a year when even my toaster judges me for being single.”
• “I’m not single, I’m just on reserve for someone who deserves me.”
• “Love is like a fart: if you have to force it, it’s probably crap.”
• “Valentine’s Day: the one day a year when chocolates taste better alone.”
• “Who needs a date when you have doughnuts?”
• “Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m single, and I have better things to do.”
• “Valentine’s Day: the one day a year when Hallmark makes a killing off my misery.”
• “I’m not single, I’m just in a relationship with my couch.”
• “Valentine’s Day: the one day a year when even my phone bill reminds me I’m single.”
• “Who needs a partner when you have pajamas?”
• “Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m single, and I’m cool, how about you?”
• “Valentine’s Day: the one day a year when being single feels like a superpower.”
• “I’m not single, I’m just independently awesome.”
• “Love is like a fart: if you have to force it, it’s probably crap.”
• “Valentine’s Day: the one day a year when even my alarm clock judges me for being single.”
• “Who needs a date when you have donuts?”
• “Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m single, and I’m happier too.”
• “Valentine’s Day: the one day a year when even my laundry basket has a Valentine.”
• “I’m not single, I’m just in a relationship with freedom.”
• “Love is like a fart: if you have to force it, it’s probably crap.”
• “Valentine’s Day: the one day a year when even my GPS judges me for being single.”
• “Who needs a partner when you have pizza?”
• “Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m single, and I’m thriving, how about you?”
• “Valentine’s Day: the one day a year when self-love is the most romantic gesture.”
• “I’m not single, I’m just romantically selective.”
• “Love is like a fart: if you have to force it, it’s probably crap.”
• “Valentine’s Day: the one day a year when even my fridge judges me for being single.”
• “Who needs a date when you have chocolate?”
• “Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m single, and I’m loving it, are you?”
• “Valentine’s Day: the one day a year when being single feels like a blessing.”
• “I’m not single, I’m just in a committed relationship with my dreams.”
• “Love is like a fart: if you have to force it, it’s probably crap.”
• “Valentine’s Day: the one day a year when even my calendar judges me for being single.”
• “Who needs a partner when you have ice cream?”
• “Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m single, and I’m rocking it too.”
• “Valentine’s Day: the one day a year when even my microwave judges me for being single.”
• “I’m not single, I’m just in a relationship with my bed.”
• “Love is like a fart: if you have to force it, it’s probably crap.”
• “Valentine’s Day: the one day a year when even my playlist judges me for being single.”
• “Who needs a date when you have cupcakes?”
• “Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m single, and I’m happy too.”
• “Valentine’s Day: the one day a year when self-love is the best love.”
• “I’m not single, I’m just independently fabulous.”
• “Love is like a fart: if you have to force it, it’s probably crap.”
• “Valentine’s Day: the one day a year when even my TV remote judges me for being single.”
• “Valentine’s Day: the one day a year when even my coffee maker judges me for being single.”
• “I’m not single, I’m just in a relationship with my freedom.”
• “Love is like a fart: if you have to force it, it’s probably crap.”
• “Valentine’s Day: the one day a year when even my WiFi judges me for being single.”
• “Who needs a date when you have cupcakes?”
• “Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m single, and I’m awesome, are you?”
• “Valentine’s Day: the one day a year when even my calendar judges me for being single.”
• “I’m not single, I’m just in a relationship with my bed.”
• “Love is like a fart: if you have to force it, it’s probably crap.”
• “Valentine’s Day: the one day a year when even my playlist judges me for being single.”
• “Who needs a partner when you have tacos?”
• “Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m single, and I’m loving it, are you?”
• “Valentine’s Day: the one day a year when self-love is the best love.”
• “I’m not single, I’m just independently fabulous.”
• “Love is like a fart: if you have to force it, it’s probably crap.”
• “Valentine’s Day: the one day a year when even my TV remote judges me for being single.”
• “Who needs a partner when you have pizza?”
• “Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m single, and I’m happier too.”
• “Valentine’s Day: the one day a year when being single feels like a blessing.”
• “I’m not single, I’m just in a committed relationship with my dreams.”
• “Love is like a fart: if you have to force it, it’s probably crap.”
• “Valentine’s Day: the one day a year when even my calendar judges me for being single.”
• “Who needs a date when you have chocolate?”
• “Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m single, and I’m loving it, are you?”
• “Valentine’s Day: the one day a year when self-love is the best love.”
• “I’m not single, I’m just independently fabulous.”
• “Love is like a fart: if you have to force it, it’s probably crap.”
• “Valentine’s Day: the one day a year when even my TV remote judges me for being single.”
• “Who needs a partner when you have pizza?”
• “Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m single, and I’m happier too.”
• “Valentine’s Day: the one day a year when being single feels like a blessing.”
• “I’m not single, I’m just in a committed relationship with my dreams.”
• “Love is like a fart: if you have to force it, it’s probably crap.”
• “Valentine’s Day: the one day a year when even my calendar judges me for being single.”

Being single on Valentine’s Day is the perfect excuse to embrace laughter, self-love, and a little bit of sarcasm! Whether you’re enjoying a solo celebration or poking fun at the holiday, humor makes everything better. If you’re looking for professional Valentine’s messages, check out our Valentine’s Day quotes for business or Valentine’s Day quotes for coworkers. Need more work-related humor? Don’t miss our Valentine’s Day quotes for work. For heartfelt messages, explore Valentine’s wishes for friends and family, or enjoy a dose of office humor with The Office Valentine’s Day quotes.